I AM ALIVE YET!

a fine poem by a person called sudarshan fakir


in the daily mundane routines of our life sooner or later there comes a point where i say to myself AM I EVEN ALIVE?the same getting up in the morning,the same obligations to everyone,the same process of processing my thoughts,the same sorrows, the same guilts,the same happiness,the same sleep....the list goes on.


NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT BEING DEPRESSED HERE.im talking about repetition.this repitition has led to such a change in his life that there are no UPCOMINGS in his life.the surface of his prsonality has become FROSTED with a layer beneath which lies a pulsating demon packed with energy and bubbling with life.

the poet very emphatically concludes with "oh im resting myself and maybe im dreaming but the world shouldnt mistake me for a cold dead piece of meat. I WILL BE BACK WITH A BANG!"

kisi ranjish ko hawa do ki main zinda hun abhi (ranjish=enmity)
mujhko ahsaas dila do ki main zinda hun abhi (ahsaas=feel)

mere rukne se meri saans bhi ruk jaayegi
faasle aur badha do ki main zinda hun abhi

zehar peene ki to aadat thi zamaane walon
ab koi aur dava do ki main zinda hun abhi

chalti raahon me yunhi aankh lagi hai faakir
bheed logon ki hata do ki main zinda hun abhi

Na mei moman vich masetan Neither I am a believer (who stays) in a mosque
Na main vich kufar dian reetan Nor do I indulge in actions of disbelief
Na main pakan vich paleetan Nor am I the pure one amongst the impure

Na main andar bed kitaban Neither I exist in books of Vedh
Na main rehnda phaang sharaban Nor do I stay drunk
Na main rehnda mast kharaban Nor do I remain stoned, rotting

Na main shadi na ghamnaki Neither I am happy nor sad
Na mei vich paletan pakeen Nor am I in the (argument of) Purity and Impurity
Na main aaabi na main khaki Neither I am (made) of water nor of earth

Na main aatish na main paun Nor am I fire nor air
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?

Na main arabi na lahori Neither I am Arabic nor Lahori
Na main hindi shehar Nagaori Nor am I (resident of) the Indian City Nagaori
Na hindu na turk pashauri Nor Hindu nor Turk Peshaweri

Na main bhet mazhab de paya Neither I found the secret of religion
Na main aadam hawwa jaya Nor did understand Adam and Eve
Na koi apna naam dharaya Nor did I create a name for myself

Avval aakhar aap nu jana From beginning to end, I tried to understand myself
Na koi dooja hor pacchana I did not come to know of anyone else
Mai ton na koi hor syana I am not just another wise one

Bulle shah kharha hai kaun Bulla Shah, who is this standing?
Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jaana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?

Na main moosa na pharon Neither I am Moses nor Pharoah
Na main jagan na vich saun Neither I am awake nor asleep
Na main aatish na main paun Neither I am fire nor Air
Na main rahnda vich Nadaun Nor do I live among fools
Na main baitthan na vich bhaun Neither I am sitting nor am I in a tornado

Bulle shah kharha hai kaun Bulla Shah, who is this standing?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?


Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?
Bulla ki jana main kaun Bulla, who knows who I am?

finally i get the meaning of the BULLA KI JAANA MAIN KAUN sung by so many people- Wadali brothers, Junoon,Rabbi Shergil..etc

no wonder this is such a popular song.it gives an exact description of the state in which iam.although the whole song is based on dualities...which are most of the times the opposite of one another in the bewildering arrangements of this world.the most awesome part of the poem is the frustration expressed in the lines

Avval aakhar aap nu jana From beginning to end, I tried to understand myself
Na koi dooja hor pacchana I did not come to know of anyone else
Mai ton na koi hor syana I am not just another wise one

the poet is being brutally true to himself along with the expression of irony which fate or luck (or whatever if ever) in his being a not-knowing-the-self person(due to his being a low intellect or the material of the self being too complex for him to understand),seems as much true with me as it is with him.
the ultimate question of WHAT AM I? is immortalized in the contradictions and HUMANLY stopped at the same point at which it started(a question of who is this MYSELF standing?),questioning in turn the vanity of the effort of writing the poem in the first place(and of course my comments on the poem too).

aaj ke daur me.n ai dost ye ma.nzar kyuu.N hai
zaKhm har sar pe har ik haath me.n patthar kyuu.N hai

jab haqiiqat hai ke har zarre me.n tuu rahataa hai
phir zamii.n par kahii.n masjid kahii.n ma.ndir kyuu.N hai

apanaa a.njaam to maaluum hai sab ko phir bhii
apanii nazaro.n me.n har insaan sika.ndar kyuu.N hai

zindagii jiine ke qaabil hii nahii.n ab "Faakir"
varnaa har aa.Nkh me.n ashko.n kaa sama.ndar kyuu.N hai

saamane hai jo use log buraa kahate hai.n
jisako dekhaa hii nahii.n usako Khudaa kahate hai.n

zindagii ko bhii silaa kahate hai.n kahanevaale
jiinevaale to gunaaho.n kii sazaa kahate hai.n

faasale umr ke kuchh aur ba.Daa detii hai
jaane kyuu.N log use phir bhii davaa kahate hai.n

cha.nd maasuum se patto.n kaa lahuu hai "Fakir"
jisako mahabuub ke haatho.n kii hinaa kahate hai.n

Har ek harf ka andaaz badal rakha hai,
Aaj se humne tera naam gazal rakha hai,
Maine shahon ki muhabbat ka bharam tod diya,
Mere kamre mein bhi ik TAJMAHAL rakha hai

Use paane ki khwaish mein, kuch itna kho chuka huun mein
woh ab mil bhi jaaye to, use paane ka gham hoga